How To Name Your Puppy

When you bring a new puppy into your home, you’ve essentially just given birth. We hope it wasn’t too painful. Because it’s about to be.

Once that new bundle enters your home, he will turn it absolutely upside down. If you have other children (canine or otherwise), you’ve already lived through this. You know that there will suddenly be a mess a questions that need answers. For example, how will this new addition fit into your family’s life? Where will he sleep? Who is going to be his major caretaker? These are all very important things to ask, but perhaps the most important question of all is, what the heck do we call him?

It’s time to put on your thinking caps, Friends.

Time-Tested Dog Naming Tips

There’s an old saying that a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.

This is a lie and you know it.

People place a lot of equity in their names. It shapes our identity from the time that we’re born. Your name tells you your place in life. Candy is not going to be a Harvard scholar, Muriel is not going to be voted most popular of her high school class, and Mervin is not going to grow up to be quarterback of the football team. Life is cruel and your name plays a big part in the social order of things.

The same holds true for your dog. The name you choose for him will play a big part in the kind of dog he grows up to be. Princess is going to be high maintenance, Buddy is going to be loyal, and Jack is going to be an absolute devilish nightmare from the very beginning. (Or is that just my Jack?) Either way, it’s basic psychology and you better give it the respect it deserves.

So, how do you give your dog a name that will be accepted the human/pet community and help to shape his personality in the right direction?

Look to your dog for inspiration

By far the most underrated way to find the perfect name for you dog is to simply look at him. Don’t make him uncomfortable to the point where he mauls your face, but give your baby a good look. What does he look like to you? What springs to mind? A lot of dogs naturally resemble famous actresses, sitcom characters or historical figures. If you look at your pup, and something immediately jumps out at you, use it.  Those are called instincts. Your dog has them too.

Or maybe your dog doesn’t resemble a famous actor but is already showing clear signs of personality. A puppy who gets into everything may be called Mischief.  Or a dog who walks around like royalty may be fit for the name Prince or King.

Or what about physical characteristics? Does your dog have eyes like Midnight or hair the color of a Raven? Be careful when naming your dog based on physical traits, though. I once made the mistake of naming a dog Floppy after his unusually large ears… only to have his ears be normal-sized once he was a few months old. Try explaining that for the rest of your life.

Name according to breed

When coming up with the perfect name, you want to take your dog’s breed into consideration. For example, naming your bulldog Fluffy is probably going to get you some weird stares and make people think you are mentally unstable. It is also not funny to give “cute” prissy names to masculine breeds like the Boxer (my all-time favorite, not that you asked) or the Rottweiler or to name your pocket-sized dog something overpowering like Butch or Rock.

Virtually every dog breed is known for something — try playing that up to find a cute name for your dog. For example, how about a Chihuahua named Shivers, a Bulldog names Wrinkles or a Jack Russel Terrier named Eddie? When you go with a name that is “appropriate” for the type of dog you own, it saves you and your dog from unnecessary ridicule and public humiliation.

Don’t give your dog a person name…

Stop me when this sounds familiar. You’re being polite and humoring your coworker while she rambles on about all the funny things her boyfriend Ed did this weekend: He knocked over the garbage, he hogged the whole bed, and he made a total mess during a dinner. “What a jerk!”, you cry, trying to sound sympathetic. Then you realize Ed is not her boyfriend. Ed is her dog.

Oh good heavens!

This is not cute. Logan, Bryce, Caleb, Donovan and Cole are all very nice names for baby boys, however, they are not appropriate for your dog. Equally inappropriate is naming your child Fido, Lassie, Shadow, Scooby, or Muffin. There is just no reason for it. None at all.

Do consider a celebrity baby name

Okay. I know I just said that you can’t switch names between humans and dogs, however, I do think it’s okay to name your dog after celebrities or their children. This makes sense as it is common knowledge that celebrities are not real people. If they were, we wouldn’t chase them into traffic with video cameras and they’d have to abide by recognized laws. Like not driving while under the influence. And no killing people.

If you don’t believe that celebrity baby names make great pet names, let me introduce you to the children of Robert Rodriguez: Rocket, Racer, Rebel, Rogue and Rhiannon.  You can’t tell me those aren’t some of the most awesome dog names you’ve come across! And what about Gwen Stefani? She named her kids Kingston and Zuma. Let’s face it, celebrities have given us some wonderful dog name ideas. Thanks, Stars!

Assess your creative situation

If you’re not creative and are horrified at the latest batch of celebrity baby names (and really, who can blame you?), you can always follow the crowd and check out 2008’s most popular dog names.

I guess there’s no real harm in being one of 12 Buddies at the dog park. I’m sure your dog won’t grow up to resent you. Or wonder why you didn’t love him enough to come up with a good name. And he definitely won’t take it out on your favorite pair of shoes.

On Second Thought…

Spend some real time coming up with a name that suits your dog and makes him feel confident. He’s going to be living with it his entire life; we think he deserves a good one.

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